I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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