we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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