do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think your dad took our porno
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
