No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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