my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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