we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
