In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
