all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize