I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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