just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize