new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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