Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its liver damage thursday
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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