who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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