I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize