I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I accidentally burped into my bong.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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