my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
