Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
