My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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