My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son