So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
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I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza