I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize