the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
