Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
