im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize