like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
