I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize