Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
