remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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