Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
