I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
