I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
