They should really pass out barf bags in church
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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