PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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