They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
