do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
MIDGETS
????
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
