I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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