Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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