she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
