please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
