Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
