"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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