I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
