Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
tell me about the eggs
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