something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize