If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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