She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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