Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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