That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???