Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town