I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic