I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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