i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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