I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize