weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
